remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize