i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
