just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there was a trapeze. enough said
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
