I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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