Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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