He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
high people should be assigned attendants
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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