Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
