Operation Purity has been aborted
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
