he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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