I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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