hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
