Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
