life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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