I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
