My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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