do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
