Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
