We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
