SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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