i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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