Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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