Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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