So drunk its hurt
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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