it hurts more in the daytime
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
