We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
