I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
