i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
