Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
