btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize