I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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