I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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