is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
