just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
