Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I look better un-naked...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
