i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
