If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
