Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
