Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
