it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We need to get me chipped asap
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
