Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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