dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
