You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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