I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
