how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
