take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
True strength comes from lack of pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize