i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize