Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
