I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
