It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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