So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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