The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
