Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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