Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
