I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
