Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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