Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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