Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
