I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
