so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Green mimosas i think yes
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize