maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
