Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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