I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
