LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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