My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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