my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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