there's paper in my vomit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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