Please don't use social media to get back at me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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