Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
