Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
