She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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