also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Never joke about your clitoris.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
