she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
