when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
