is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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