I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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