just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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