She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize