is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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