He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
