So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
