Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize